The Cowardly Lion
by Damonficgirl
Summary: Set post "Cold Turkey." Catherine is hurt and upset, can Vincent make amends or has he lost the woman he really loves? (Catherine/Vincent)


_**The Cowardly Lion**_

_**D/C – Given that this TV Series CW appropriation of Disney film which was in turn based on a fairy tale, I'm not going to get into who owns the rights to Beauty and the Beast or its characters, but suffice to say, very sadly, its not me.**_

A cool breeze followed through Catherine Chandler's window as she walked into her bedroom, despite the layers of fatigue and heartbreak and tension the corners of her mouth twitched into a hint of a smile before she remembered she didn't want to see him, but he wasn't there, he must have come earlier though because he'd left a present on her bed – a dozen red roses and an envelope – not the small kind you get at the florists, it was fancy parchment paper, the kind wedding invitations came in.

With a sigh Catherine walked over and picked up the roses and the envelope. Despite herself she smelled the flowers. She wished he'd bought her flowers before he'd taken Alex to the woods, before Alex had rejected him, because everything felt like a rebound now. Everything felt like coming in second. Catherine didn't want to be anyone's consolation prize.

But curiosity turned in her gut and she couldn't bring herself to throw out the flowers or the envelope before she'd opened it. So sitting on her bed and laying the flowers down beside her, Catherine opened the envelope and slid a thick piece of folded parchment paper out. She opened it up and was a little surprised to notice it was hand written. That was a nice touch. The handwriting was familiar – it was Vincients – and part of her was immediately worried about the risks he'd taken, there was enough here to do handwriting analysis and prove he existed, but even with Muirfield back on his tail she knew it was a calculated risk.

The contents of the letter were far more important than their worries about Muirfield right now.

As she read the letter she could hear is voice clear as day in her mind. She could smell him and imagine his compelling eyes watching her.

Catherine,

I've been a coward.

You were the best thing to come into my life in a really long time and I blew it.

Sorry doesn't cut it. I get that. I screwed up.

I'm a mess. You've always understood that better than anyone, even JT and we've spent way too much time together over the years, so when you show up and you just seem to know me, to understand me, somehow despite _all of it, all that I am. _I didn't believe it was possible. I couldn't.

I know it seems like I chose Alex over you. But it wasn't about her. It was about the safe bet. I was about letting you have the normal life you should have had.

See I was supposed to look out for you. Ever since that night, it was my job to make sure you were okay. I don't know why, it was like a calling. Instinct maybe, like the instinct that made me want to be a doctor, it too me to you. So when I was watching you it always felt like I was me, or hanging on to me.

When you discovered the truth about me, I thought I'd lost that forever. I thought you'd hate me. But you showed me you are the strongest, most loyal and trusting person I have ever known.

That's why I chose Alex. Because I was afraid of what my involvement in your life was doing to you. I fooled myself into believing that if I ran away with Alex you'd be safe. That I was doing the right thing.

But those were just excuses.

The truth is, I'm terrified. I'm terrified of what's happening to me, and I'm a coward. You're so strong and so brave and I'm just this be whose. That's the real truth about me. I don't think I would have survived this long without JT and knowing that at least, if I couldn't do anything else right, I could look out for you. But lately you've been the one looking out for me, you've put your life and your job, everything, on the line for me.

I was a jerk.

Sorry doesn't cut it but I want to say it anyway.

Sorry.

And for what it's worth, I'm not in love with Alex. I _loved _Alex, but I'm in love with you.

If I wasn't such a coward I'd be able to tell you that face to face, but after the way you looked at me the last time you saw me, I'm afraid too. Maybe more afraid than I am of what's happening to me, because while you saw the good in me I could live with myself.

Maybe you're better off without me. This whole _relationship_ has been pretty selfish of me but I think I owe you the truth.

If you want me to stay away, I can do that. I'll still be watching but I can keep my distance, like I did before. Because I've hurt you too much already, I don't want to do it again.

But please, Cat, if you think you can forgive me one day, I hope we can be friends again. I know I don't deserve that, or you, but I want you to know that I want you in my life, even if it's wrong and I shouldn't.

Vincent.

By the time she got to the end of the letter there were tears on Catherine's cheeks. Quite tears but big ones. "Oh Vincent, you idiot, why couldn't you say that before?" she mumbled to herself.

"I told you - I'm a coward," a deep voice came from the window. She jumped automatically.

"You surprised me," Catherine explained, standing up.

Vincent pulled himself through the window and stood up, towering above her, he hung his head, he was shy and more than a little ashamed.

Catherine looked at him for a long time, standing there, vulnerable but mute. She didn't know where to begin.

"I don't expect an answer right now. I just wanted to see you," Vincent finally confessed. "I should go."

"No," Catherine replied quickly and she instinctively reached for him. The moved across the room to her in his fluid cat-like way and before she had thought it through her hand was holding his upper arm. "Vincent. I. I still….." It was so hard to say it but she needed too, "Vincent you hurt me." Admitting that was so difficult, but she knew he'd said things that were difficult for him too, even if it was on paper. Part of her was glad, because the paper, still clasped in her other hand, felt tangible. It felt real. So often everything with Vincent seemed surreal. She still sometimes felt like she'd dreamed him up.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore. And with Muirfield after me again, I should go. I should get out of here….. For your sake. But I won't go unless you tell me to." He searched her eyes nervously, clearly torn.

Catherine looked at him. She let herself feel the emotions that brought with it and the strongest one wasn't the hurt, not when he was standing there offering himself to her. Not when his words were still in her hand. "If you think you need to go to stay safe, then go. But don't leave for me."

"Damn it Catherine that's not an answer."

"You didn't ask me a question."

"I.. do you still.. can you… could we ever have another chance?" he sounded tortured. "I need to know. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I'm so angry at myself I'm driving JT mad. I can't live like this."

"It hasn't exactly been a walk in the park for me either," Cat reminded him, her forehead crinkling critically.

"And I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you."

Catherine weighted her pain and her instincts against the seemingly magnetic pull that seemed to be making it impossible to let go of him.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"You've got one more chance. But if you ever hurt me like that again Vincent Keller, I'll turn you into Muirfield myself."

Vincent smiled the broad flashy grin that he seemed to reserve especially for Catherine and without thinking he reached out to hug her.

Catherine was surprised, but happy, it felt good to feel his closeness again. When he let go she didn't step away and neither did he. They were standing toe to toe and she was forced to look up to meet his eyes and he impulsively pushed a strand of hair back behind her ear and she melted into him as his mouth moved towards hers. When they kissed it was both electric with chemistry and heavy with emotional intensity. It was pure and perfect and untainted by any of the drama that had passed between them in the past few days.

Neither of them could say it aloud yet, but there was more than passion in their kiss, they were in love. It was impossible and ridiculously and probably the worst idea anyone had ever thought of but when they kissed it felt right and neither one of them wanted to stop.

_**A/N: What can I say I just keep getting more and more addicted to this show. I've been so cranky with Vincent of his behaviour so I really wanted to find a way in the fanfic world to give them a bit of happiness while still trying to keep it reasonably believable (given these two struggle a bit with intimacy and communication!). I hope you enjoyed it, please read and review, without reviews fanfic writers start to feel like crazy people talking to themselves alone on a global stage, which you have to admit, sounds kind of creepy if you put it like that. **_


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